Saturday 14 February 2009

Lets HURL CHUNKS of Annoyance at One Another

Hmmm, another interesting train journey. As usual, on my way home to tha 'Dirty Souf' someone decides to invade my teeny bit of space on the tightest train ever.
Plonking himself down in the seat opposite mine and appearing to collapse into an instant 'sleep', his knees accidentally touch mine. And stay there. Huffing as loudly as I can, I shuffle my papers, as you do, and move my knees away. The train jolts the guy as he 'sleeps', then judging by his disgruntled expression, I think he decides, 'Hey-I don't like this position...maybe I should just follow the knees of the girl in front of me...they seem to know where it's at...' - AND HE REST HIS KNEE ON MINE AGAIN!!!ARGH!
I flip my newspaper down to a sea of faces who have noticed that I have made one too many 'paper shuffles'. I ignore them and direct a cunning smile to the initial annoyance. As I know I will finish whatever it is he wants to start, I attempt a Stare War. But then I notice that he is completely oblivious to the anger stirred up in me as his face is now in negotiations with his crotch......and his face is as white as Letoya Jackson.....before I know it, he shakes himself awake and looks back at me. Defiant, I smile threateningly. But now I know he's smashed, I decide to concentrate on moving my feet.....vomit on trainers is not the one!
Dude: "Hi".

Huh - did he really just address me? I look around at the other passengers and they are all staring back at me....great....other than playing knees-ie with me he is now going to draw further unwanted attention to me.
I smile politely and raise my newspaper to a defensive height. He must have thought I was smiling for OTHER reasons.....what a loser.....
Dude: "Where have you been tonight?"
The Asian man and his balaclava are now fully engrossed in my embarrassed face.
Me: "Sorry?" (I am now quite pissed off)
Dude: "Where have you been?" (He is blatantly tryna hold it down)
Me: "Why?" (I am disgusted)
Dude: "Just tryna make conversation."
Me: "Oh...[now the whole train is looking at me disregarding my increasing shyness. Great - I have to entertain his foolishness to keep from the dreaded, awkward silence]...I was at uni."
Dude: So where's - (Really - why is he still talking to me?)
Me: Are you gonna be sick?
Dude: NO!
Me: Oh...okay (He tried to take me for a mug so the newspaper shield got a rewind)
Dude: (goes back to 'sleep' ......tries out a few positions before realising that the best position would be by the exit doors)
As the guy throws up relentlessly, everyone finds the whole thing quite amusing and keep looking over at me in a bid to encourage mutual laughter. Instead, I watch him, concerned and have this weird sense that I should be helping him because we were once conversation buddies (Don't ask!?)
Obviously, he gets off at my station because I live where all the madness resides. I push through the crowd so I lose all responsibility of him and his hurlage. Poor guy - he was probably so lonely that he would try and move to someone as mad as me on the eve of Valentines day! LOL!

Yes, this post is dull and irrelevant in the midst of all the 'fashion, music, the scene etc' type blogs. Mission accomplished.

Here's me in an outfit I was going to wear for Valentines day - some vintage leggings that are very similar to an H&M pair that I didn't purchase years ago coz I thought it would be bait and every girl on road would have 'em. Well, I have only seen THREE girls wearing them so I now realise that I missed out!!! The blue dress is from Miss Selfridge and is of course BODYCON (I heart) but I got the wrong size....dahwell...I'ma exchange this on a quick one later today. I hate that I never have time to try stuff on....then again it's long because I waste valuable shopping time, ha! As Kanye put it '"...Just know when I'm getting one, the other's getting away". .....hmmm... I'll probably wear something a bit more understated , people love to look like they are ON IT around V'day LOL!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!Yayyyy me!

*I am: Tired and Proper*

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hAHAHHAHAHAAH i love this

Super Noodle Rach said...

ONLY YOU KARA!!! but you know u was on it really...him being an asian drunk and all!! looking hot mensah!