Wasted: Royal Mail SUCKS!!!

The postmen in my area are WASTE!!! I swear down!

Many times I have been shaken out of my sweeeeeet dreams of sunshine and sea breeze to my stupid doorbell (which is louder than a foghorn). IT'S THE POSTMAN!!! You literally fly down the stairs like some crazy ghost screaming 'GIMME A SEC'! Jingling keys as loudly as you can while you try and get yourself clothed before the eyes of the poststranger - breaking a sweat - you twist the door latch and open the door to......yes you've guessed it....AIRRRRRRRR!!!! You were in such a rush grabbing clothes together that you don't even realise that the 'SORRY YOU WERE OUT' note is already lying beneath the letterbox!

I remember my Mum wanted a package soooo much that she woke me up at 7am! She was that serious about it! Anyway, why is it that when the doorbell did ring I looked out the window upstairs and saw that the dude was jogging to the postvan he had parked on the street across from mine!!!!! WHAAAAT! Speeding to the door in my dressing gown and jumping into my dunks, (never attempt this look if you have bait White dressing gown on and you live near a bus stop like me), I ran outta my house and hopped over the gate to hail him down like I was doing the 'signal the plane' dance. BOY......he was dust! ....Then my bus went past.....as usual, the people in my area get another glimpse of my bizness!!!!

Why am I having to chase them???? What is this??? I ain't some nutty babymama after child support??? They need to calm their asses down and wait a minute or two before they go. I mean that man was not serious.....ringing the doorbell then making a getaway??? He's going on like he gets to keep the parcel........fool. My mum was mad at me like I never ran hard enough....ERM.....I WAS IN MY DRESSING GOWN!!!!WHO IS ON ROAD IN A DRESSING GOWN WITH NO TROUSERS AND KICKS???!!!

And the package that was supposed to arrive today and I got an email confirming this......where is it.....?

*I am*: Hood and Angry