Two Hoodrats and One Road.....to musical hell

I had to do a post on the YouTube hit, 'It's So Cold in The D'.....long overdue but I already started writing it up a while ago lol!

OKAY...some hood looking chick from the D (Detroit, Michigan) released a tribute song about a friend who was murdered - you get the picture......the rest is viral history!!!

T-Baby 'It's So Cold in the D'

PROS

• 
  
  The fact that she was willing to embarass herself just to make this tribute song

• 
  
  The 90's vibe of the beat and the hand gestures/dances are all reminiscent of a, dare I say it, erm SWV/Aaliyah videee...oooo?? No?...Or was that just me who felt that? Moving on....

CONS

• 
  
  She can't even double up her OWN vocals in time?!?!Her adlibs and ev-er-y-thing are just all over the place.It sounds like two people trying to rap along to a Twista song at a karaoke night....but they are not in the same time zones.

• 
  
  Her shocking disregard for 1) her skin against THAT hair colour, 2) rhythm 3) English grammar ["It's so caaaaald in the D! How the $%*& do we s'pose to keep peace..."]  and 4) general decorum. Decorum, daaarling. Decorum. YES, your loved one died but do you have to swear so much?!?!? And stay IN TIME! The least you can do is let your friend rest in peace....I'd be turning in my grave if anyone EVER used my death as an excuse for this nonsense.

• 
  
  The backing dancers/homegirls look like they don't really care who died, [or who their babydaddy is]. They look bored or even slightly annoyed.... like the video took longer than expected and T-Baby was holding them back from their double date at Burger King.

Now, Shardinay.

Shardinay [SMH], Shardinay, Shardinay.

Suprisingly, some people in London STILL haven't seen this video!?!?! Which is crazy to believe seen as her video 'blew up' so quickly when it hit the net that she performed at a club in central London the following week! Even I was going to witness the wackness in full effect! THAT'S how big the Shardinay was in tha endz lol! When I first saw this video I refused to believe it was anything short of a parody video because it was so cringeworthy but as her horrible Mariah s-Carey vocals prove, she REALLY thinks she can sing?!?!

Shardinay ft Mani7esto 'Oh Boy'

PROS AND CONS [I had to combine the two because all the cons were pros and the pros were cons...lol!]

• 
  
  The first 'note' that escapes her mouth

• 
  
  The sudden tempo change of the beat is CLASSIC! It sounds like a really bad attempt to emulate an early Destiny's Child track or that the producer was inspired by someone emptying their dishwasher down a flight of stairs. Probably the latter.

• 
  
  The rapper Mani7esto's adlibs, weak verse and clothing. Both the Lonsdale and Ecko UNLTD brands are sooooooooo old skool that I bet even the bummiest of bums would find it hard to wear either brand on a cold winter's night. I can just imagine them faced with the dilemma...... "Lonsdale. Ecko. Or die......hmmm."

• 
  
  The fact that Mani7esto is spelt with a '7'

• 
  
  One of the YouTube comments about Shardinay: "She looks like Diddy Kong's Brother." OUCH.

• 
  
  Her 'choreographer' [HAHAHHAHAHA someone actually thought about these dance moves!!] is called Tipsey....the name speaks for itself...

• 
  
  The dancer on the left in the pink outfit is apparently pregnant! Now, I don't have stomach abs of steel, [I have healthy rings of jelly ;P] but still!!! Watch closely and judge for yourself....

I could go on all day about Shardinay but the YouTube comments do that for me! Me and the guys at work even made our own parody of the video and played the song at our store so you can imagine how much fun I have been making outta this....

"HHhooooOOOOOOOH BOYYYYYYYYYY!!! My singing's kinda weak....wait, wrong key..."

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N.ever A.round S.orry A.gain

Shoot a rocket out my nose and call me NASA!!! The Notting Hill Carnival x Major Lazer Party put me in SUCH an energetic mood I gotta do a MAJOR post on it!!!!! But first, I'm going to do more posts in one night than I have ever done before.....it should make up for lost time...I hope.

Now for some post-carnival vibes in the key of dubstep ;P.....enjoy...

We have lift off...

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You? Fantasy?.....No thanks, Bashy. I like Daydreams better.

I was going to write hundreds of posts today but I have just finished doing my hair and I've got 5hrs before I have to get up for work.


I haven't written much recently because it's all been in my head while I'm staring into the ceiling at work and floats away when I sit down to type! I have been doing full time hours for the past few weeks and .....erm ....WOW.....I am soooooooo GLAD I never signed a full time contract!!! Sleep deprivation, much? Someone ask me when I last watched EastEnders......I haven't watched my fave soap in.....ahem...a WEEK and a HALF!!!!!SHOCK HORROR....that's about 4hours catch up I have to do before over the next two days before the new episode on Monday!!!

I got loads to say but for now I gotta just talk about today....


I saw this video and instantly started laughing...I hate to do this because I don't think bashy is a bad artist but really.....WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!?!??!? His new music video for 'Fantasy' [which completely MURDERS one of my favourite 90's songs as a lil 'un, Baby D's 'Let Me Be Your Fantasy']  is straight up cheese on bread. The stills of the video on youtube made me laugh but I thought,' maybe they just caught it at a bad angle' ....

Hmmm.....


Then I watched the video [in silence because I was supposed to be working in the office].

After two minutes, I had to stop watching it......I was trying to hold in the laughter SO MUCH that I was literally sweating and losing my breath ....somehow the humour was heightened by the confused looks I was getting and it all became even more funny. Why was I finding this so funny....I know I find the humour in most cheaply made videos but this one actually had me questioning my juvenile behaviour.........is it because he is what we consider a 'rapper from the streets' all 'Castaway' and bare foot in the sand like some toddler at brighton beach? Is it because he is all washed up.....in both senses?? Or is it because his video looks like it's jacking this dude's steez.....

ALL I gotta say is.....how 'bout you GO COMPARE your life bruv!!!! When your music video starts to look like an insurance advert...it is .....a time to reflect.
 [And that,folks, is putting it nicely.....the sentence I wrote before REALLY boyed it....and I actually like what Bashy is doing with his life with his acting and that so I ain't gonna do him like that.....it was V.FUNNY though....].

It's now 4am....why am I still on this....now I have 4hrs worth of sleep to bang out....

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Memories....

Radio 1xtra really have been entertaining me these past few days with their UKG Takeover Week, playing all of the classic UK Garage tunes from yesteryear. Yesteryear. Damn. Can you believe those UKG days were a good DECADE ago!!!! Everytime I hear UKG it feels like it was only yesterday that I was wearing my tie 'too short' and passing notes in the classroom whilst drinking Panda Pops when the teacher's back was turned :). This song in particular gives me butterflies....the feeling of nostalgia when I hear this song is ridiculous -  it reminds me of the summer when I left behind all my Junior school and Playscheme friends. It was the best and saddest summer holiday ever.....

[I couldn't post the original video but click here to watch it! Cheesy 90's computer graphics at its finest!]

This song also reminds me of my last school disco with all the boys sliding across the floor on their knees.....remember the Latin Explosion....I know I do....*facepalm*smh*.....I picked this video over the original because I can't stand Ricky Martin's overly-unbuttoned shirts....

Oh gosh....I've just come across more classics!! Okay, I'm going to overload you guys with a few more of my favourite musical memories from my childhood haha.....

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Wasted: Drake gets some dudes 'all shook up'...

I'm not hating, Drake is a good artist but I would not, I REPEAT, would not travel from NEW JERSEY to get to NEW YORK CITY to queue up at some crazy time in the early-bird-morning to have his man-of-the-moment ass sign my CD that has songs that I would have probably downloaded already because I am already a fan of Drake. This is EXACTLY what one super-fan did just to have Drake peer from under his eyebrows at him for a HOT second.....the dude then goes on to say Drake is 'A MIRACLE'....LOOOOL!!!!!!!! Watch the video below and listen out for the nonsense this Arab lookin' dude tryna pass himself off as Lloyd spews.....he is gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............*breathe*...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssed!!!!

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*DAAAAAYUUUUUMMMMMM that John-James guy on Big Brother will not stop talking about Rachel...if you say you HATE her with all your guts, why spend the whole day talking about how much you 'hate' her then find some reason to have some sort of telling off session with her telling her how she needs to stop being bitchy or you won't want to be friends with her....ERM...who are you again???? If one dude EVER tried to threaten me with his friendship demanding that I fix up even though HE is talking about me behind my back AND in front of me after living with me FIVE days in the BB house I would brush him off my shoulder like he's any stray hair......don't need it....I got more where that came from....

New Music Video: Kelis '4th Of July (Fireworks)'

I really liked this song the first time I heard it and I immediately thought of a 'strobe lights at night' vibe, the song title sorta means that the video will be a no-brainer. I have only just seen the video so I haven't done the usual research but it looks like it's probably directed by the guys who did 'Acapella'. I made this assumption because it looks like they have used the same wardobe/set/concept......the head-dress and the desert ring any bells, Kelis??? Aside from that I .....erm....I haven't really thought this out but.....errrrr - oh yeah - I would have loved the video if it had had more jittery, chopped up editing [I don't know any technical terms,so work with me people!!], for example, the opening scene in the desert and the end scene where Kelis plays with some sort of light decoration works well with the music. When I heard the song, I expected to be blown away by the amount of energy and imagery thrown at me to contrast with her calm vocals.....daaahhhhwell.

I think the parts where she is singing with a microphone should have been left out - the video follows this whole 'at one with the earth and the elements' vibe but the appearance of a microphone and the Beats by Dre headphones ruins this theme as you can tell that these parts where filmed indoors [YEAH, I know the strobe lights could also be part of this technological line-up but they are not AS obvious...]. To me, it looks like Kelis keep switching between being an enigmatic mirage in the sweltering desert to ANY girl singing at your local karaoke bar. Kelis is not any girl though so I don't like having to type this but I just expect more. MORE, KELIS, MORE!!!!! I love what you're wearing and your makeup etc but I just feel like you could have given us something other than the scenes that were cut from the 'Acapella' video.

Your image is still hot but your videos are starting to look a lil run-of-the-mill. Your better than this....and unless your looking for more money to up your music video game, stop tryna rinse Nas....he ain't Diddy!?!?!?

www.twitter.com/hoodandproper

*My iphone is actually dead so I haven't tweeted in the last week.....or spoken to anybody....I'm still alive though so it's alllll gooooood ;D*

David Guetta x Bust-A-Mute

Last Saturday, I spent the whole day laughing with my workmates at random YouTube videos so I was in quite a giggly mood. So when me and Miss Sugarwild were walking past a TV screen [eating the best AND cheapest ice cream in central London] we stopped to laugh like maniacs at the David Guetta 'Memories' video. With tears streaming and ice cream dripping down our hands we stood outside the shop laughing like a pair of immature school kids without a care for the the tourists and scene dudes nearby.

We'd seen the video before - so why was it so funny to us this time...? Was my green pistachio ice cream spiked with something else of a green nature? No...it was because there was no sound....

David Guetta, single-handedly, maintains the notion that white people cannot dance. If you watch the 'Memories' video ON MUTE it really emphasises how fresh off the boat Guetta looks and dances as he tries to sponge off Kid Cudi's 'cool'[although Kid Cudi isn't that much of a dancer either].

My favourite parts are Guetta's sly look at Kid Cudi to make sure he didn't notice his weak attempt at the 'butterfly' @ 2:10 and the shoulder shrug skank @ 2:45

Before you watch, remember to BUST-A-MUTE!!!

NO SOUND=MORE FUN 

If Guetta ever gets hurt doing one of his killer moves, I'm sure this dude would be the best candidate for a stunt double....

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It's time to get 'funky-funky' [...not the house kind though]

This is just another one of those old skool classics that have been knocked about by dance/house DJs with the public giving props to the remixers and not the orignators but I just wanted to show some love to the REAL funk soul brothers for a sec....

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'Eccentric' is not even the word...

If you have never seen 'Eccentric's' American Idol audition, I urge you to watch this as it really is one of the BEST(WORST) auditions I have seen on A.I. along with that black dude that said, "...all my friends say that I sound like Brian Mcknight...." [he sounded more like Brian-t Gumble].

"I have fire equalling three men..."

"....I'm an athlete, I WILL get into acting as well I WILL get into modelling....and I will get into being an author...as well as a singersongwriterrapperchoreographerproducer and...composer

"I might be blowing up as Michael Jackson...maybe bigger..."

"I got 53 songs...when people listen to it they get tears....in their eyes....because they are so brilliant-brilliantly written..."


If anyone can watch and listen to the lyrics of his song, 'Sweetest Princess', WITHOUT laughing, you are an impressive being....

PROS
The played out bandana with the little point above his eyebrows...
The pretend microphone
"...I wanna jump out and start to fly..." [Jump out of where????]
"...to comfort me when I shed tears" [soft ass fruity ass sherbert ass nucca]
"...please come around so my heart can hear your sweet sweet sound..." [so what do we use our ears for...?]
"...fly with me through clouds through worlds with bright shine..." [
"Cruising in my coupe, my mind is made up I gotta find a girl to make my breath stop who can make my worl' drop..."

YouTube Comments

"He was deported from Armenia.....for singing"
"He sings like he has a gun pointed to his head"
"I think HE is tha sweetest princess"

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Un-patriotic...Moi?

Yeah, I'm from the UK but who cares! We all know red, white and blue looks better in stars'n'stripes - sorry Miss Britannia but Americana does it better [Britannia and Americana .....I bet in a faraway hood somewhere there are twins by the same name]!

Don't hate! We ALL know Vanilla Ice used to ROCK that patriotic look!

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*I'm having 4th July 2009 flashbacks.....seems like it was yesterday that we braved the crowds for all that fiery glitter above Nu Yaawk's skyline...*

Oh, Florence, you need to go back to the [Machine] board

I like the imagery in Florence and The Machine's new official video for 'Dog Days'. I just don't like it for THIS song. I didn't think the first video was all that special either but it's earthy/maniac theme was a lil more appropriate for what I still think is one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a LONG time. You know what - when they used this song as the Slumdog Millionaire premiere advert on Film4 the scenes from the film went really well with the song. I can't find the advert at the moment but I'm sure you can imagine that it was better than this.....

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*Sorry mum, but I think I'm about to go back to the risky roads....*

Right place, at the right time...God must want me to

Last year H&M did a silver robotic/armour ring that I wanted last year but couldn't find :(

Last week, whilst getting hairbands, last minute before I went out with my friends, I ran past the jewellery but something pulled me back.....the glint of a LONE armour ring in GOLD!!!!!!GOLD!!!!JUST ONE HANGING OUT WITH SOME RANDOM BRACELETS!?!?!...I snapped it up real quick [although it was an Xtra SMALL!?!?]- asked the sales assistant if it was new to which she replied:

"What is that? Yeah....it's new....more will come, more will come..."

Everyday since then I go in after work - I checked in stores ALL around London...NEW MY ASS!!! ALL the staff in all the stores didn't even know how I got the ring because none of their stores recieved them???!?!? SICK or WHAT....don't answer that...the photo below will do that for you ;) [I have just realised this program is not a 30min affair....it's ONE HOUR...I gotta hit tha sack...].

If any of you reading this are followers [that word is so cringey for me today....thesaurus.com time]....er, if you are 'returning readers', you will remember this post [which I have conveniently hyperlinked so you can read this sentence again and "go with the flow" <<<>

ohh but I think it was a return because this necklace is SOOOOOO five seasons back and there are some missing gems :(......I only managed to haggle a 10% deal after the woman said:

"I cannot sell....it's faulty so I will send theesss to warehouse..."

ERRR NAH!!!GIRRRRL *hood chick voice* YOU BETTA HAND ME MY CHAIN!!!!

I still cannot believe how this all happened...right place, at the right time, mine all mine, mine all mine.....

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WHAT THE....Jerseylicious!?!?....why is this FAKE Jersey Shore being allowed on to our TV screens????

GLEE is back!! Sue Sylvester recreates 'Vogue' VIDEO!!

I haven't been here in a while because I have recently been trying to Get Dis Money and....drum roll....come up with a TRIBAL themed photoshoot as a fashion editor for Catch22 magazine!!!!WOooooOOOOO!!!I love tribal anything so I am VERY excited about doing this shoot!!

GLEEEEEE!!!! I know my girls will be happy 'bout this but I there are 'hard' guys out there who have already ordered the first season on DVD lol so this post should make everyone GLEE-ful!!!

So, season two of GLEE started yesterday in the US [and I am yet to go online and watch the first episode because I can't wait for the UK to show it!] but in celebration, here is a SICK video of the ex-Cheerios captain, Sue Sylvester, recreating the iconic 'Vogue' video as a teaser for the upcoming Madonna episode. The video has the moves and the cinematography so close to the original its crazy, and Sue has a much softer singing voice than her character would allow you to think.

Enjoy yourselves snitches...it's GLEE

GLEE GLEE GLEE *"Hercules Hercules" Clap* GLEE GLEE GLEE...okay that's enough now....

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The Justin Bieber plan...

Even though I am absolutely terrified by the tsunami that is the Justin Bieber craze, if I was a 14-year old with no one to draw hearts around but some of the latest starlets to be spat out at me from the generic Disney/Twilight machines....I would probably fall for [or be tricked by] Bieber's cocky [illuminati] charm coz this video on YouTube's homepage ACTUALLY made me laugh a lil.... [that's what 'they' want...'they' want me to laugh...then buy...then laugh...then cry...then scream...then pull my hair out...cry some more...then chase his car after his concerts...then get knocked down 'accidentally'....they're out to get us!!!!!]

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Candy paint on them nails, Yo!

I did my nails the other day. Then my mum wanted me to cook. I was cool with that. What I wasn't cool with was GRATING ginger into my chicken stew when there was a pack of ground ginger powder in our house. Long story short I ended up grating some of the nail polish off....so I guess I gotta redo 'em!! I took a photo of the neater nails [which somehow always grow quicker than my other hand's nails????] so I could post this up as the last time I did this pattern my nails were really bad haha!!

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New Music: TC 'Phone Shop'

Last year, Channel 4 showed a pilot episode of a new comedy, 'Phone Shop', that was so funny I literally forced my workmates to watch it - and they loved it too! The show is funny because it is so much like the phone shops in 'endz'. EVERYONE knows how a phone shop operates and we've all dealt with the stereotypical 'mandem dressed as lamb' sales assistants.

Back to the point.....

On the pilot episode, they used 'Where's My Money (Caspa Remix)' by Drum & Bass DJ/producer TC and as a thank you, TC made 'Phone Shop' using the best and most talked about part of the show.....where Jerwayne raps to a customer!!!

This song is actually the best thing I've heard in ages, you can just imagine some old skool MC saying: "...man needs a piece to check da gyaldem wid.." LOOOOOLLLLL!!!

TC phoneshop sound bite

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LA Gears better step up their Choo game...

Jimmy Choo's Zap light up heels are definitely the grown up version of the LA Gear trainers we all loved as kids. When you walk and dance [if you can manage to do the last feat] the neon perspex heels light up! The price of these made-for-music-video heels are about $2,500 or £1,680....I'm sure your face lit up at the sound of those numbers ;)...

Talking bout Jimmy...you remember this poor excuse to name a song after Jimmy Choo by Shyne & Ashanti....just cos you start your song with, "I see you ma...your thousand dollar weave, masterpiece diamond face on ya sleeve....waist petite, alright, Jimmy Choo's shoes on ya feet, you right", that should warrant this pooooooor song's the title. Shyne looks mad bored rapping from his cell too....it looks like Ashanti is the money grabbing wifey who is more concerened with feelin' on her booty than going to visit her man....

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Its RICK...I mean ERYKAH..huh...IT's RICK BADU ..I'm confused!??!

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Wasted: Taio Cruz not putting black women in his videos!?!??!

This story about Taio Cruz is very old but I saw it recently and I think more people should hear about it.

I'm sure you have all seen Taio Cruz's videos before and noticed the absence of black women. However, this is what he said about the constant criticism he gets about the issue:

“I like to put girls in my video that I think are hot....[if] a really hot
black girl came to a casting, she’d be in my video...I think that people even
focusing on the race issue in my videos is a problem. And I would almost react
by NEVER putting black girls in my video, because I’m that type of person –
rebellious. I’d be like, ‘If that’s how you’re gonna be, I’m never gonna put
black girls in my videos."

LOL he is actually a fool...what black girl has ever been in his video for him to say he will NEVER put a black girl in his video??? So he has never seen ONE good looking black girl at his casting....AHAHAHAHA!! I remember he had a video with black girls called 'Moving On' but they were hip hop dancers so I guess most of the white hip hop dancers weren't hot that day then Taio?? Or were white girls shunned so the black girls could be an accessory for the hip hop themed video?? So the white girls weren't hip hop enough that day!?!?! Or am I talking crazy??

The reason why people are questioning his videos is not out of 'hate', it's cos it looks strange. If he was white and ALL the girls in ALL of his video were black you would be like 'What's his game?? Why is he trying so hard to appeal to the urban audience?? [Or you'd think he likes a hot chocolate instead of tea lol]!! It looks like a scam right?

To be honset, I think it could be a marketing scheme - the less black people, the less 'urban' Taio's videos look so he can appeal to a broader audience. Either way, he's not real at all. I saw his 'Break Your Heart' remix video with Ludacris today (which is basically a mix between the old and new scenes they filmed especially for the remix) and while watching it, I noticed something very very interesting. As Ludacris' verse drew nearer, all of a sudden I saw black girls!?!?!

Was this because:

A) Luda usually picks ethnic girls for his videos?

B) The only hot girls that turned up to audition for the remix video were black?

C) Someone noticed Taio Cruz's phobia of black girls and thought it would be funny to watch him squirm?

D) Taio Cruz wants to appeal to Ludacris' black audience?

All these options may sound a little far-fetched but I urge you to remember what his previous videos look like.......then go and watch both versions of the 'Break Your Heart' video and tell me what you think....

I'm not saying it's wrong to have a type- we all have types of guys/girls that we tend to go for but Taio gave some BOGUS reason for favouring milky bars over snickers. Me personally, I don't discriminate, I appreciate!! If you're cute, YOU'RE CUTE...white, black, green, purple, checked etc lol!!

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REMEMBER KIDS....LIKE MIKE SAID, "It don't matter if you're black our white.....duurr nurr nurr nuuuurr nurrrrr OWWW!"

Shazam can do a lot but it can't solve this one...

Can somebody PLEASE watch the video below and tell me what song Will Smith is dancing to when he cuts in between Geoffery and Naomi Campbell - I have to have it!!![The scene is near the end of the video and the song appears when Bell Biv Devoe's 'Poison' fades out.]

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